Blending: How the Brady Bunch made it look easier than it really is.

I’m a parent and so a big part of thinking about relationships for me includes the idea of blending a family.  My son is only five, so I’m still new to trying to figure out for me how much weight this should carry when dating.  Admittedly in this post I have far more questions, as I am still trying to develop my opinion on this front.

Real life/ TV examples (Please excuse my obsession with trash TV for a bit here.)

 

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Kyle already had one daughter when she first met her now husband Mauricio.  In last season he talked about what it meant for him to date a woman with kids, and he described it BEAUTIFLLY as having the amazing opportunity to see what she’d one day be like as the mother of his kids.  They now have three children together.

And in tonight’s final episode of the bachelor Jake picked Emily, widow and mother of a 5-year old girl.

Blending 101: I spent most of last week with some family friends who I jokingly kept referring to as a modern day Brady Bunch (minus Alice.)  Both parents are now step-parents to their spouse’s children from prior relationships.  While working to build their future together they are also working hard to build relationships with their new step-children.  Though they made it look easy – I could tell that a ton of effort is placed in them just supporting each other as they embraced their new roles.

When, why and how do you introduce your kid to someone you’re dating?

My son has yet to be truly invested in a relationship with anyone I’ve dated – and so far that’s worked great for us.  Of course there’s no sure-fire fail-proof way of keeping your kid safe from falling in love with someone you soon after fall out of love with, but for me it’s more important that I’ve worked out the kinks well before introducing my third-party.  But if, and in the spirit of being hopefully I’ll say when it one day does come to the point where I want to make such introductions – how?

Really – I would love to hear how others have taken that leap from dating to “now I’d like you to meet my kids.”

Just Drew the Line in the Sand

I recently read an article in Essence magazine that briefly mentioned that users are attracted to helpers, which seemed to be one of those 'aha' moments that Oprah is always talking about. I find it typical among friends through discussions, that they (girls) were brought up to be nice to others, while boys are typically raised to be tough. So where do we as women cross the line from being nice, to allowing ourselves to be used by those 'users' out there? Wisdom comes with experience, so I still have alot to learn about myself and why I allow certain people in my life, but is it that unreasonable to expect someone to have character and values? Seriously, what happened to that thing called a conscious that allows us to be empathetic toward others? I guess I just don't understand how I feel bad if I forget a friend's birthday and others could care less if they lie, cheat and steal from the people who love them most. And fellas, I'm well aware that women can be users too. Unfortunately, it's an ugly trait that comes in the prettiest of packages.