I recently read an article in Essence magazine that briefly mentioned that users are attracted to helpers, which seemed to be one of those 'aha' moments that Oprah is always talking about. I find it typical among friends through discussions, that they (girls) were brought up to be nice to others, while boys are typically raised to be tough. So where do we as women cross the line from being nice, to allowing ourselves to be used by those 'users' out there? Wisdom comes with experience, so I still have alot to learn about myself and why I allow certain people in my life, but is it that unreasonable to expect someone to have character and values? Seriously, what happened to that thing called a conscious that allows us to be empathetic toward others? I guess I just don't understand how I feel bad if I forget a friend's birthday and others could care less if they lie, cheat and steal from the people who love them most. And fellas, I'm well aware that women can be users too. Unfortunately, it's an ugly trait that comes in the prettiest of packages.
What’s most disappointing is that people should feel comfortable enough to be vulnerable in relationships – unfortunately if the other person is a user this lets them know where you are most weak. But still I'm not sold that everyone who takes advantage of someone is doing so intentionally.
ReplyDeletePeople can only do what we allow them to do. I am a firm believer in setting boundaries in relationships. I think that when you put your expectations out there in the very beginning, with no compromise,you set the trend and a standard of how you will be treated. If at anytime those boundaries are crossed, it's time to jump ship
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