Today’s topic: last Saturday’s Wall Street Journal article, Where Have The Good Men Gone?
I must say that I love the reference to the movie “Knocked Up” only because every woman, knows or has dated a man who’s a slacker. Not necessarily someone who lays around playing an uncomfortable amount of video games or watching Cartoon Network (although I know some who do.) But mostly I’m thinking men who lack focus and drive in life and in maintaining a relationship. Yes the gender gap is real – and I think that maybe we, women, have helped nurture it into existence.
Most memorable thing that came out of today’s lunch: “Maybe the worst unexpected result that developed out of the women’s right movement was the emasculation of men?”
It hasn't always been like this.
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| Really, who is Cliff without Claire? She completes him - ahhh! |
Me: Maybe we don’t give men the opportunity to excel, especially SBW? Were things better when roles were more traditional – should today’s man be the head of the household?
Tonya: Yes, absolutely, the man should be the head of the household.
Me: Really?
Tonya: No I don’t believe that BS. LOL!
Sharonda: I do believe they should. But I also believe the right man won’t exploit that, he will treat his woman as an equal.
Tonya: Unfortunately, very few men can really take and value a woman’s opinion.
Me: Though slacker doesn’t necessarily mean that a guy is a punk, it does conjure up a picture of a wimpier type of man, maybe someone who lacks focus and motivation especially in a relationship.
Sharonda: Having a man who caters to you and cares about you – those are good qualities. I’m trying to change my perception on what is a man, but I really like Alpha males. And in a certain sense I want my man to be my protector, if he’s emasculate or a wimp, I will question if he can really fulfill that role.
Tonya: There’s a huge difference between a man who takes care of his business and is able to express his feelings, and just someone who is punk. I’ve dated men who had been punked (emasculated) in previous relationships and yeah, they usually have issues. I want someone who’s compassionate, but not soft.
Me: It just sucks that the numbers are always in their favor – there’s more of us then them. And some men do take that as a free pass to act irresponsibly with the belief that there is no consequence. But there are good guys out there - how do women support men who want to be the stand-up type of guys?
Tonya: You have to let a man be a man. You can’t be too overbearing, over confident, really not too much of anything. Even if your man only has two pennies to rub together, you have to make him feel like he is the king, the king of your world – that’s just one more thing we have to do as females.
Sharonda: As we elevate so do the standards that we have for the men we are looking to date. I want someone who makes an equal salary, and no it’s not about the money, but it says something about their level of motivation. I want someone who understands my ambition.
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Hmmm ambition – isn’t that what’s resulted in the generation of slacker-males we’re dealing with today?
